What is a good death?

Maybe there is no such thing. When I realized my son was not going to recover, I knew I didn't have control over whether or not he would die. The only things I could control were the circumstances of his death. I wanted to give him a good death, and then I had to think about what that meant.

I came up with a few guidelines. I wanted him to die at home, with his family. I didn't want him hooked up to machines or tubes. I didn't want to fight all the way to the last second. If it was going to happen, I wanted to accept it. I wanted him to be comfortable and pain free.

Obviously, this kind of death is only possible if you have a defined illness, with a defined progression. And my version of a good death is different than many people I've talked to. I had long conversations with other moms who had disabled children, and some of them insisted they would fight to the last second, through all the infections, interventions, hospital stays and all.

I can't say I remain completely convinced about all the decisions I made.

First post . . .

Testing . . .